Tuesday, April 22, 2014

The Beauty Around Me

When I was a young child, my dad told me stories and rocked me in his chair. My mom would hold my hand and sing me to sleep most nights. These were the safest places to me and I still remember it clearly to this day. It showed me that my parents loved me and cared for me because then, that was all I knew. I may not have understood it, but I knew I was happy. A few years later, there was a summer when I would get up at 7 AM, put clothes on and run out to backyard to swing on the swing set my dad had built. I have one specific memory where I was particularly proud of my outfit (black and white polka-dotted shirt with spandex shorts??), and eager to be outside that warm morning. I remember swinging really high with the warmth of the sunrise against my back. I wanted to fly. Literally. So I jumped off the swing but I scraped my arm so I abandoned that ship pretty quickly. (Clumsy Carina, some things never change.)

Travelling in a family of seven while growing up, often meant we all had to stay in the same hotel room. I never minded it, because I liked to sleep in sleeping bags on flat surfaces. But the biggest reason was because I liked hearing my family sleep. (On a scale of 1-10, how weird does that sound?) My dad has always had a very loud and actually kind of interesting snore, and I have always been a very light sleeper, so it would always wake me up once or twice throughout the night. I would listen to it and sort of make it music in my head, eventually leading me back to sleep. 

I am the middle child, and I have fortunately been blessed with a pretty functional family (for the most part! ;P). Two older brothers and a younger brother and sister. I love my placement. It's always been very easy to see the differences between each sibling and my love for them grows greater with every time I see them. We have begun going our separate ways in the last year, so it's easy to say that it feels weird not being around as often. We have all had our moments when we were about to throw each other (...but that actually might have happened once or twice...), but with my sister turning 17, you could say we have grown up. I have unusual and VERY random nicknames for all of them and I don't really know why. I made them a long time ago but I still use them. Using their real names kind of makes me cringe, but hey - they have been responding to their nicknames for years now without hesitation! I don't talk with all of them every single day, BUT at the end of the day, they know me and I know them. They are wonderful and definitely NOT boring. Sleuthenson, Androw, Pompous and Nama. Take a guess at who's who! ;)

I have an extreme fondness of red roses, shoes and handshakes. Those don't seem very connected but they are to me. Red roses remind me of my Grandma Alvina, while shoes remind me of my Grandma Eleanor. I like handshakes even if it's just a gesture of meeting someone because my Uncle Rudy and I had a cool handshake that we made up when I was younger. We did it every time we saw each other up to the last time i got to see him. So thanks to every person who has shaken my hand, to Darion for all the beautiful red roses he has given me (muah!) and to my bank account for letting me purchase so many shoes (oops?)! 

I am writing this to explain why I love my life so much. These past two years or so have been CRAZY and if I have learned anything, it is that life should not be taken lightly. I am passionate for all these things even at 22 years old and they cross my mind almost, if not every, single day. I like to curl up in a little ball when I sleep, like when my dad rocked me. I like to sing others to sleep, as my mother did to me. I really like to be on a swing even just to sit there, especially if it is warm out. I don't mind snores, they have never annoyed me, but calmed me. I gave each of my siblings a part of me by giving them their own names, each unlike the other, and I still always wonder how they are doing, individually, not just as "siblings." Lastly, I can never ignore a picture of, or physically present red rose, pretty shoe or gesture of shaking hands with someone else. 
Amé en la vida.