Tuesday, April 22, 2014

The Beauty Around Me

When I was a young child, my dad told me stories and rocked me in his chair. My mom would hold my hand and sing me to sleep most nights. These were the safest places to me and I still remember it clearly to this day. It showed me that my parents loved me and cared for me because then, that was all I knew. I may not have understood it, but I knew I was happy. A few years later, there was a summer when I would get up at 7 AM, put clothes on and run out to backyard to swing on the swing set my dad had built. I have one specific memory where I was particularly proud of my outfit (black and white polka-dotted shirt with spandex shorts??), and eager to be outside that warm morning. I remember swinging really high with the warmth of the sunrise against my back. I wanted to fly. Literally. So I jumped off the swing but I scraped my arm so I abandoned that ship pretty quickly. (Clumsy Carina, some things never change.)

Travelling in a family of seven while growing up, often meant we all had to stay in the same hotel room. I never minded it, because I liked to sleep in sleeping bags on flat surfaces. But the biggest reason was because I liked hearing my family sleep. (On a scale of 1-10, how weird does that sound?) My dad has always had a very loud and actually kind of interesting snore, and I have always been a very light sleeper, so it would always wake me up once or twice throughout the night. I would listen to it and sort of make it music in my head, eventually leading me back to sleep. 

I am the middle child, and I have fortunately been blessed with a pretty functional family (for the most part! ;P). Two older brothers and a younger brother and sister. I love my placement. It's always been very easy to see the differences between each sibling and my love for them grows greater with every time I see them. We have begun going our separate ways in the last year, so it's easy to say that it feels weird not being around as often. We have all had our moments when we were about to throw each other (...but that actually might have happened once or twice...), but with my sister turning 17, you could say we have grown up. I have unusual and VERY random nicknames for all of them and I don't really know why. I made them a long time ago but I still use them. Using their real names kind of makes me cringe, but hey - they have been responding to their nicknames for years now without hesitation! I don't talk with all of them every single day, BUT at the end of the day, they know me and I know them. They are wonderful and definitely NOT boring. Sleuthenson, Androw, Pompous and Nama. Take a guess at who's who! ;)

I have an extreme fondness of red roses, shoes and handshakes. Those don't seem very connected but they are to me. Red roses remind me of my Grandma Alvina, while shoes remind me of my Grandma Eleanor. I like handshakes even if it's just a gesture of meeting someone because my Uncle Rudy and I had a cool handshake that we made up when I was younger. We did it every time we saw each other up to the last time i got to see him. So thanks to every person who has shaken my hand, to Darion for all the beautiful red roses he has given me (muah!) and to my bank account for letting me purchase so many shoes (oops?)! 

I am writing this to explain why I love my life so much. These past two years or so have been CRAZY and if I have learned anything, it is that life should not be taken lightly. I am passionate for all these things even at 22 years old and they cross my mind almost, if not every, single day. I like to curl up in a little ball when I sleep, like when my dad rocked me. I like to sing others to sleep, as my mother did to me. I really like to be on a swing even just to sit there, especially if it is warm out. I don't mind snores, they have never annoyed me, but calmed me. I gave each of my siblings a part of me by giving them their own names, each unlike the other, and I still always wonder how they are doing, individually, not just as "siblings." Lastly, I can never ignore a picture of, or physically present red rose, pretty shoe or gesture of shaking hands with someone else. 
Amé en la vida.


Saturday, February 22, 2014

These Days.

As I have grown older (especially these last 4 years), I have faced life and trucked through. It has been interesting thing, growing up. The similarities between us and our parents are so close, but the differences make a real gap. Just through knowing my own peers, the differences get bigger and crazier as time goes on. Adulthood is a vast, vast gap of time, it seems. As a child, you see things as they are, not truly questioning its purpose or your own purpose, at that. Once a person can wonder and wander, there is no going back. You are not that child anymore.

I do not like ignorance and I do not like judgement. I am most definitely a people person and I am not too picky when it comes to being able to make a friend. My variety of friends goes from point A to point Z. Sure, there may be things about a person I do not like, but as long as they are not out on weekly killing sprees, then I have no problem with said person.

I am more of an observer and listener than I am one to interact. I don't know why, I am probably like that because of my mother. But the side of me that does interact is for sure from my father, so I am louder once I am interacting. I once wrote an essay in high school about how my head's like my mom's and my heart's like my dad's. I take much pride in that. I do believe that heart is always the one to listen to, since every time I have, it has felt right. After an incredibly long, confusing and tiring year last year, I think I am finally in a place of peace. Sure, certain parts of my life are not where I want them to be, but they will be someday as long as I keep my head up towards the sun.

Speaking of the sun...

I recently got a tattoo on my right arm of a sun. It is amazing how a little bit of ink can patch up your attitude. I certainly know that there is someone out there somewhere who has it much worse than I do. But everyone has their hard times at some point. Last year, I did not have enough sun in my life. Not so much the literal sun, but the "light" at the end of the tunnel. My parents had a rough year also, and I'll never forget my dad talking to my whole family about how the only way to get through difficult times is to look up and find what is still shining. I have to admit, I have never listened to someone's words so intently and then held it so close to heart. So I made the decision to get a sun tattooed and always carry it with me.

I am going into the fashion industry and I am more than excited about. For financial reasons, I am slowing the process down by living in Spokane and taking my first year of classes online, but hey - it's a start. I know it's where my heart is at, so I feel secure about this career path. Love what you do, eh? I really hope more and more people think of this when choosing their career. Do not do it for the cash or especially for your parents if it is not really what you want to do. Why bring yourself down at a job you chose because of someone else? There is the whole world out there.

The last thing I want to talk about real quick is the utter importance of taking care of your body. I have a passion for nutrition and how exercising works with it. Having been an athlete and having to have paid close attention to my diet due to some extreme blood sugar issues, I've come to find it all fascinating. I have learned much through certain self-experimentation (I have not had health insurance since fall of 2012), and from the guidance of my wonderful dietitian. I have always been pretty good at taking care of myself, but once I started having bigger health problems that basically came out of left field, I started to take it more seriously. I wish for every one of my family and friends to never have to deal with any serious health issues. I encourage for all of those living a not-so-healthy lifestyle to start now. You do not have to sacrifice a huge part of your life in order to be healthy. You can take out AN HOUR of your day or add or subtract ONE THING from your diet to give your body the chance to work itself out. It is true as it sounds: "You are what you eat." I don't think you HAVE to completely restrict your diet to just a few things if your body does not call for it (I'm talking about food allergies in this case!). Simply, your body NEEDS vitamins, minerals, protein, fiber, carbs, etc. in order to function properly. You just need more than a cheeseburger to get all of that, ya feel me?

Anyways, this is what has been on my mind these days. Keep your head up and your veggies in hand! ;)